THINGS I GAVE UP WHEN I MOVED TO NYC

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After reading this article on ManRepeller the other day, I started thinking about this subject. What have I really given up by moving to the Big Apple? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being negative about moving here, but there are definitely things that I’ve noticed are very different. So here is my list:

PEACE & QUIET

Cars honk like crazy, I am very often woken up by drunk people walking home from the club (not just on the weekend), loud music from cars driving by and from neighbors throwing a Wednesday party just because, people fighting in public (never understood that), sirenes… NYC is so noisy (all cities probably are) that I find myself missing the country side were I grew up in Denmark. I think my ears need a break. The other day Edward and I went to Clason Point to look at houses, and it was the loveliest, and most calm area I’ve been in for a while. That, and just that, made me want to move there.

HIGH STANDARD APARTMENTS

We currently live in an old 1 bedroom apartment in the Bronx. It’s old, it’s falling apart. But it’s still freaking expensive. It feels like I pay so much more money for nothing. We are looking for another apartment (that is actually nice, in Manhattan, and affordable) to rent/buy, and the struggle is real.

BIKING

I used to bike to everything in Denmark. Here they have CitiBike (or you can buy your own, but then you have to bring it upstairs in your apartment for it not to get stolen…), but people are mostly just afraid of biking. There are no bike lanes except from on a couple of streets. The worst of all though: CitiBike is not available were I live.. Like why?!

TIME

I was used to being very close to my friends and the city in Denmark. It would take me 20 minutes to bike to university. Oh boy, did I give that up! Although Manhattan is not that big, I spend over two hours on my commute to/from work every day and it takes me the same time to go to my friend’s apartments or if we are just meeting up downtown. I really hope to move to Upper West, so I can get closer to everything.

MY MONEY

Now, when I moved to NYC I had watched a lot of Sex & the City. You know, brunches, shopping, drinks, more shopping, a little cupcake here, and taxi-ride there. No. On a “first job after uni”-salary this is definitely not possible if you also want an apartment, phone, cable, go to the gym etc. Also I try to save up. Goodbye money.

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WHAT I WISH FOR IN 2017

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I always look forward to a new year. A new beginning. Somehow it gives my inspiration to do everything better and work harder. January 1st is the Queen of Mondays. I many goals for 2017, and writing them down makes me feel more attached to making it all happen. (You can also check out my 2016 high lights here)

Here’s my new year resolutions for 2017:

Vlogging

I want to start making videos for the blog, and work on more frequent posting (the struggle is real when you also work a full-time job, but I know it can be done, and I feel more inspired than ever)

Apartment

Hopefully Edward and I will find a wonderful apartment somewhere in the City, with more space and in a better neighborhood (I have so many interior dreams, but first we need the frame)

Being grateful

One of the things Edward tells me the most, is that I always complain, and that I should be more grateful. Just for life in general. And he’s right… I often fail to realize how fortunate I am. So I want to practice being grateful, and therefore bought the ‘5 minute journal’ to help me practise this every day. It’s basically a journal that you fill out morning and evening, and because it’s not supposed to take more than 5 minutes, even I should be able to keep this going.

Reading

I want to read more books. When I was earning my BA, I used to study to and from work everyday. My commute is an hour each way, which gave me two hours of reading every day. I recently read an article called “The Simple Plan To Read More” which got me thinking: Now that I got my BA, I want to use that time on reading books that inspire me. 1-2 hours a day I can read. Just think how many books I can comsume in 2017. Next on the list: Dress Scandinavian by Pernille Theisbaek

Economy

It’s been fun to live life to the fullest in 2016, and I definitely don’t want 2017 to be a boring year, but I want 2017 to be the year I got the best savings in a long time. I’ve always been afraid of red numbers, but I’ve not been afraid of shopping and using the money I have. So therefore Edward (and his inner accountant) is helping me with a finance plan to make my savings grow. This is such boring adult stuff, but must happen to create the life we dream about. 3, 2, 1, go!

Play an instrument

I played the piano as a child (still do), but the longest I’ve wanted to learn to play the guitar. I recently got reminded of that again watching the Norwegian TV-show SKAM, where Noora plays and sings in season 2. So in love. And can we also talk about her hair? I kinda want my bob back, and what about going platinum blonde?

TOP 5 HAPPENINGS OF 2016

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Photo from Pinterest

2016 has in many ways been an eventful year. Many things has happened personally and professionally, and no matter if it was the most annoying thing ever or the best thing I could imagine in my life, they have all made me into the person I am today. Soon we’re entering a new year, 2017 is literally around the corner, so I thought it would be fun to look back, but also look ahead.

First up, here’s the events that I remember the most from 2016:

5. Opening my eyes for nails salons here in NYC. I’m very specific with my manicure and cannot walk around with chipped nails (I know, minor issue in reality), so after trying many different places I have found my nail lady, Kim, whom I visit every 2-3 weeks. #MeTime

4. I went to a Lukas Graham concert here in NYC. I’m a huge fan, and have seen loads of concerts with him back in Denmark, and it just makes me so proud that he’s made it in America now.

3. The election. Can we just talk a little more about that… Trump as president. Something I didn’t think possible. And something I wrote this blog post about. A blog post I named ‘Silence’ — I think that says it all.

2. I was hired full time at Nadine Johnson, which basically led me into my real (sometimes way more boring than expected) adult life. First result: The visa process is taking way too long (which meant that I couldn’t see my family back in Denmark over Christmas, which then resulted in a few tears on Christmas Eve). Second result: I’m always stupidly tired on Fridays after work and therefore I now only go out maybe 10% of what I used to. Third result (more positive): I have been able to invest in two pairs of amazing shoe wear, my Miu Miu princess shoes and latest addition my Gucci loafers.

1. I moved in with my boyfriend. Or more like, I moved into my boyfriends apartment (because I basically spent more time in his apartment than in my own) and a new world of “living together kinda couple” opened to me. It’s been good, I’ve learned a lot about myself, about him. About love.

Stay tuned for my wishes for 2017 coming up tomorrow!

SILENCE

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Tuesday night I found myself at Hillary Clinton’s election party at the convention center in New York City. It was a great evening, with great people, happy people, suddenly turning into anxiety, frustration, a feeling of not knowing what to do. Feeling numb. I went home around 1AM to watch the rest of the drama from my bed. We all know what happened.

The subway the next morning was silent. People just starring into the air. Not even playing with their phones. No one talking. We all know what happened. Yet, nobody is saying a thing. Odd sight for New York where people are not afraid to tell you about their business. I don’t think people actually thought it was possible, that we would be in this situation. What the world needs is to stand together! We see people standing together in the many protest around the country, but I think the most important thing is to talk to each other. Talk, hug, stand together. I’m optimistic, and have always been. We will get through this.

I was originally going to name this post “Tell my jeans to stop touching me” and talk about how I have wanted a pair of checked pants for the longest (and kinda feel like jeans are out), and that I finally found them. But somehow that doesn’t seem appropriate before stating the above. So instead I’ll just show you the beautiful photos, that my boyfriend shot on a sunny Saturday last week. We were strolling on the Upper West side, totally unaware of what would happen a week later… #ImStillWithHer

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Why do we compare ourselves?

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The other day I was hanging out with a good friend whom I hadn’t seen in months. We had brunch, walked through West Village to SoHo, did some shopping and had great conversations catching up on the lost time. I felt great. I felt comfortable and self confident.

As we walked out of a store and down Broadway a street style photographer stopped us and asked if she could take a photo. I instantly said yes, thinking it was of us both. And it truly made me feel less about myself when I realized it was of my friend only. All of a sudden I felt invincible (and a bit ashamed of saying “yes” so quickly). Not that I’m not happy for my friend. She deserves the world, but I couldn’t help but feeling a bit disappointed and not good enough. Not interesting enough. Why didn’t that photographer want to take my photo? I had carefully chosen my outfit that morning feeling like the most fashionable woman on earth. Feeling good about myself. So why is it that I suddenly dropped all that and started hating everything about my body. “I’m too short, my thighs are too big, my hair looks too done, my outfit is not that cool.” Why do we do that to ourselves? I hate myself for even feeling like this and not just be truly happy that my friend just got the nicest compliments and her photo taken. I hate myself for thinking that I’m now not only too short and too wrong, but also a bad friend.

The truth is it probably just awoke that insecurity deep down inside me. That insecurity we all have. Maybe mine is just a little closer to the skin. A little more visible in my eyes. A little bigger in my smile. The truth that often lead to me feeling like I have a bag over my head and am invisible to everyone else.

Or am I wrong? Am I just focusing on all the bad things in a situation like that? Why do we compare ourselves to other beautiful women? Why do we think less of ourselves just because someone else is recognized for their existence? Shouldn’t we just be happy for them?

The answer is ‘yes’. Yes, we should be fucking happy for them. I do not know why I – we – compare ourselves. But I know that it only made me feel less valuable.

When I talked to my mom about it, I started crying. And yes, I still call my mom in emergency situations (and every other situation basically – that will probably never stop). Crying because it had made me feel really sad, and crying because I felt safe. She told me that it’s really all in my head. And it’s a dark circle. If I think less of myself, I’m going to feel like other people think less of me. And then I’m not myself anymore. When I’m not myself, why would people see the beauty in me? That question stuck with me. She’s very right. I – we – have to believe, deep down inside, that we’re good enough. Because if we believe that, everyone else will too. And if they don’t, it’s their loss.

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